Last Resort

A man takes over Cuddy's office and holds House, Thirteen, and several patients hostage. His demand? A diagnosis. The man forces Thirteen to act as a guinea pig for his treatments and House has to end the standoff before a SWAT team opens fire.

Jason: "Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy."
House: "Well, she's either not here or she's under the desk. Either way, you're going to have to wait outside till I'm finished."
Jason: "Do you know when she'll be back?"
House: "Yes. Which is why I need you to get out and leave me alone."

Jason: "This is my body. This is my life. There’s a truth out there. I’d rather rot in jail knowing than…I can’t handle not knowing."
House: "Yeah."

Jason: "I’ve never been anywhere south of Florida."
House: "You idiot."
Jason: "Florida counts?"
House: "Well not to the supreme court, but it’s warm enough for germs. You’ve been blaming doctors and you can’t even give a halfway decent history."

House: "I need to slap you. For diagnostic purposes. Seriously. If I were jerking you around I’d say that I needed to kick you in the groin."

House: "Good idea. Oh, damn, I left my CT machine in my other pants."

House: "That's a bathroom you're barricading. Might come in handy, especially since you've cleverly decided to take a bunch of sick people hostage."

House: "You really think reenacting 'Dog Day Afternoon' is the best way to get diagnosed? I'm sure you've been waiting several hours in an uncomfortable chair but... you should watch the movie all the way through."

House: "Me, I rarely kidnap people unless I've got a serious health problem."

House: "Right, you just brush your teeth with coffee grounds."

House: "She might be armed, maybe you should have her deliver it shirtless."

House: "First rule of triage: guys with guns go first."

House: "This is a level of risk-taking beyond anonymous girl-on-girl action."

House: "Wow, I would have laid money you had herpes."

House: "If your life's no more important than anyone else's, sign your donor card and kill yourself."

House: "The humiliation? Doctors treating you like a piece of meat? Too many fingers and tubes up your holes? You hate doctors, want to take back control. If so, let me apologize for the fact that you are a piece of meat."

House: "I'm trying to decide which is riskier; taking crazy risks, or taking advice on crazy risks from a crazed risk-taker."

House: "If you're saying you might have screwed this up because of your non-relationship with me, I don't know how I can help you."