House: "Wanna be my friend?"
Lucas: "No, you scare me a little."
House: "A moment ago, you thought you were dying. Blind is actually good news."
House: "Which means we have to remove your whole head. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt."
House: "What idiot wears argyle socks with construction boots?"
House: "Tell Foreman to get it: old people are scared of black people."
House: "There's the problem -- he only had half a brain."
House: "Cancer plays the field. Metastasis is just a fancy word for 'screws around.'"
House: "Okay, it is a long shot but it's possible I'm an ass. Ironically, we need to do a colonoscopy to confirm."
House: "You're taking pictures of a guy having an affair with his own sister and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust?"
House: "Do you have a different rate plan for being a pain in the ass?"
House: "You're a math teacher. I deduced you used to be a blind math teacher."
House: "She's not your type. Your type's much stupider than her."
Available from