Spin

A professional bicyclist is brought in after collapsing during a race, but House doesn't want to treat him because he thinks the athlete is taking performance-enhancing drugs. House only becomes interested when the patient admits to taking the drugs.

House: "You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a ... I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor."

House: "She [Stacy] can't handle working with me."
Cuddy: "Oh, right, yeah, she's still got a thing for you, making it impossible for her to deal, makes perfect sense. Except for the pronouns!"

Cameron: "Kids love him, and he's not who they think he is. It's not right."
Wilson: "Who cares if he's what he says he is? Who the hell is? If love's based on lies, does that mean it's not a real feeling? Doesn't it bring the same pleasure?"

House: "You are healed. [sticks the patient in the thigh] Rise and walk."
Patient: "Are you insane?"
House: "In the Bible, they just say, "Yes, Lord" and start on in with the praising."
Patient: "What did you do?"
House: "What did you do, Lord?"

House: "How's your recovery going? Gotten around to the small muscles yet?"
Mark: "It's not the size of the muscle; it's where you get to put it"
Stacy: "My goodness, it's like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade."

Chase: "We take drugs to help us fall asleep, stay awake."
Cameron: "We don't make careers out of who can stay awake the longest!"
Chase: "Really? Ever been to, oh, I don't know, med school?"

Foreman: "With all due respect, man, I doubt there's anything wrong with you that you didn't do to yourself."

Cameron: "It's kind of a long shot."
House: "Yeah, but it's been over an hour since we poked the patient with something sharp. Get him a lumbar puncture."

Chase: "You were right."
House: "Now there went three wasted words."

Jeff: "I do straight blood doping.."
Cuddy: "Plot twist!"
House: "That's a very daring confession."
Manager: "We've got confidentiality, right?"
House: "Assuming I'm more ethical than your client."

House: "The air is keeping him from breathing air. Let's go with that for the irony."