Humpty Dumpty

An asthmatic man suddenly becomes unconscious and falls off of Dr. Cuddy's roof while working on her house.

House: "Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good."

Stacy: "How's Cuddy doing?"
House: "She's not acting like Cuddy. It's a pleasure."
Stacy: "You know her. She has trouble with these situations, feels personally responsible."
House: "Technical term is narcissism. You can't believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you're all powerful."

House: "Now, would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. [Pointing to Stacy] Should have seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. Lot of screaming. I know this wasn't just because it was your roof. Cuddy ... you see the world as it is, and you see the world as it could be. What you don't see is what everybody else sees: the giant, gaping chasm in between."

House: "You've lost perspective, Cuddy. You've stopped looking at this as a doctor. You're acting like someone who shoved somebody off their roof. You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right."

House: "You're not happy unless things are just right. Which means two things: you're a good boss, and you'll never be happy."

House: "I'm happy to report that we are now so in sync, we're actually wearing each other's underwear."

House: "The good news is he won't be bitching about losing his hand if he can't breathe."