Autopsy

Dr. Wilson convinces House to take the case of one of his patients, a young girl with terminal cancer who starts suffering from hallucinations.

House: "It's not lupus. Well, not everyone can operate a zipper. Up, down, what comes next?"
Patient: "My new girlfriend ... never been with a guy who wasn't circumcised. So she freaked, and ..."
House: "Aha. And she wanted Rifka to feel all kabuchtlicht. I get it. It's ashonda. Ahh!"
Patient: "I got some boxcutters. And, um ..."
House: "Just like Abraham did it."
Patient: "I sterilized them, which I was told you're supposed to ..."
House: "Stop talking. I'm going to get a plastic surgeon. To get the Twinkie back in the wrapper."

Foreman: "We could bolt her to the table."
House: "Gruesome and low-tech - kiss me, I love it."

Cuddy: "You're actually talking about killing her."
House: "Just for a little while, I'll bring her right back."
Cuddy: "Oh, well, in that case go ahead. Why are we even talking?"

House: "Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"
Cuddy: "Are you high?"
House: "If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted."
Cuddy: "It's Wednesday."

House: "Union rules. I can't check out this guy's seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch."

Foreman: "Her oxygen saturation is normal."
House: "It's off by one percentage point."
Foreman: "It's within range. It's normal."
House: "If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin."